Transition Issues After Adoptive Placement:  Helping Children Successfully Navigate the Trip to Mars...
by Deborah Borchers, M.D., Southern Ohio Health Services Network, Cincinnati, Ohio
*scroll down to request free post-adoption guide

Cycle of Attachment:
* Child has a physical/emotional need.
* Child has a heightened arousal state, fearing that needs will be unmet.
* Parent meets the need.
* Child learns to trust that parent will meet needs.
Parenting for Attachment:
* Parents need to be the primary provider of basic needs during the transition period
  (Feeding, diapers/toilet needs, assisting when hurt)
*  Initially, limit people who hold, feed, and snuggle child.
* Allow others to help with household chores, shopping, etc
Facilitating Transition for Children:
* Having a time to transition between caretakers is optimal (ex. visits with the child a few days in a row before taking the child with you)
* Initially plan quiet activities with limited stimulation
*Rejection of new parent (s) may occur, but will eventually will attach to both parents.
Transition:  Adoption Travel:
* Take toys that encourage interaction (beach ball, lift-the-flap books)
* Don't wash orphanage clothes and let the child sleep with them
Recognizing Grieving in Children:
* For children, transition = loss.
* Mechanisms of grieving may differ from child to child
    *Tantrums, crying, crankiness, clingness
    * Withdrawal, developmental regression
    * Sleepiness, lack of responsiveness to new parent.
Grieving After Placement:
*  As parent comforts child through grieving, he/she will transfer attachments of caregivers to new parent.
* Look for and use opportunities to hold, snuggle, nuture, and sooth child.  (Do NOT allow friends and family to do this initially.  Child needs to learn who his/her parents are and that their are special and different from all other adults.)
Feeding Issues During Transition:
* Flexibility with bottles, cups, and finger feeding helps
*Try to change as little as possible initially; think adjustment, not nutrition.
Feeding Through Transition:
* Don't limit initially.  Children need to trust that more will be available.
    * Babies:  Associate comfort with feeding.
    *Older children:  leave healthy/not-too messy snacks available and visible.
*Feeding issues may be present.
    *Textures, spoons.  Flexibility helps!
    *Aversions:  if persist, refer to feeding therapist/OT
Sleep:
* Children are much more anxious when tired.  Even children who seem well adjusted may have problems    sleeping.
* Remember the cycle of attachment:  responding to need for comfort during night facilitates attachments.
Getting Back to Sleep:
* Use of nighttime feedings:  gradual withdrawal if necessary.
* In order to facilitate attachment, parents should not be told to "Ferberize" children after arrival.
Sleep Issues:
* Ask prior to placement about sleep arrangements.  Limit changes.
* Institute bedtime routines.
* Reassure the child verbally/physically that you will be there.
* Sleep in child's room if necessary (It is easier to leave their room than it is to get them out of your room later on)..

Transition Issues for Parents:  Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome
* Physical and emotional let-down after the waiting time to be a parent is over.
* Insecurities about being a parent overwhelm women who were often "career women."
* Recognize that "super parents" aren't necessarily fully attached and happy parents.
Coping with PADS:
* Anticipate:  freeze meals, hire cleaning service, start exercise class.
* Making connections with other adoptive parents prior adoption may ehlp new parents to understand that conflicting feelings are normal.
* Supports may include social worker, MD, adoption groups, parenting classes (Your local Parenting Center offers these), close contacts with friends and family.
Where Do You Turn for Help:
* Cincinnati members of AAP section on Adoption and Foster Care
    *  Deborah Borchers, MD  513-753-2820
    *  Ask your social worker, MD

*Copies of the books, The Post-Adoption Blues:  Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption and After the Dream Comes True are both available for check out from the
LEEAF library.

Several LEEAF mothers have prepared a "Post-Adoption Resource Guide", with lots of helpful information in regards to attachment, transition, speech/language, sensory integration, and local resources.  If you would like to receive a copy free of charge, please send an email to
karenbordelon@hotmail.com

www.adoptionlearningpartners.org - offers courses designed to help pre and post-adoptive parents with many adoption related issues.